The language of Heaven

All my brokenness is a whisper that I don’t belong, and every time I don’t feel like I belong, the Scarred and Rejected God whispers, “Come here, my beloved.”

-Ann Voskamp

And suddenly its June again. Its raining. And its cold. But I can hear this magical sound, and I'm inspired again.

The past few months of illness and family and Church and work, play and sun have unravelled messily behind us, distant and blurry because of the pace we move at. Winter has settled down to stay here, down near the bottom of mainland Australia. We can light fires and drink more tea, make things with yarn and snuggle. But its still a challenge.

My beautiful friend Dee has pointed me to a place of joy lately and while I'm sure I'm probably the last one to find it, it is most definitely the right time for me to have 'a holy experience' on this crazy world of online distractions. My Maisy and I lay and listened to the beautiful music of David Nevue and both fell in love with the sound. An hour before I'd been touched by Ann's words and her little corner of joy and grace, her focus on Jesus.

{from this post}

So we bought the album, and I signed up to read when I can, it brings me back to a place where can drink in the beauty in my day and in the very place I am at, weary and clinging on, often hanging out for sleep time, and really truly it opens my heart to see some of the beauty of Jesus.

Lately my brief daily snippets of Spurgeon wisdom have nudged me, and the women who I meet in our community group have reminded me, and the Spirit is so gentle but persistent when He tells me that I must make time to be with God, to hear each day of grace that rescues a heart like mine and love that waits and stays and reaches out.

Its amazing how small life can get when we are missing that external thing that is bigger and greater than us. That thing that takes our eyes off ourselves and our family and our own pleasures or distractions. The seasons around us change gradually but yet so quickly and when the summer nights are steamy and blanket-less we can't imagine ever needing socks or electric blankets. I cannot imagine here in my warm bed in the middle of June, the feeling of a starved belly or no place to rest. I'm distracted by the list of things that need doing in my big house, the washing and the cooking, the endless cleaning and improving. Simple gratitude is crowded out by our need to do and to consume. We are small and our lives are so completely fragile in the eyes of a Creator who sees all. And when we are always looking down, the parameters of our hearts close in a little tighter and we miss joy and real beauty, and yes even as believers we miss the glory and grace of Jesus.

I am grateful that despite my semi-blindness I still see bits of beauty in my day, that I feel joy when a friend speaks of the smallest of gifts from above that are actually giant when seen through uplifted eyes. After a long, sick, low, frustrated day I might just want to curl up and wait for sleep time and the hope of new mercies tomorrow but tonight my family spur one another on amidst grumbles and bouts of frustrations at lost shoes and scratchy scarves to walk the dog in the dark under the fresh night sky. And the ten minutes of breathing and literally looking up together makes the day's disappointments fall away. He is in control. And I'm not meant to understand it.

So what pulls on my very being and what I seek to do often is to be quiet and still. Because my real home is waiting for me in Heaven, and my body tells me daily that I don't belong here, most especially in winter, I have to keep on learning to speak the language of Heaven.

xoxo

When heaven is really your motherland, then prayer is really your mother tongue, and you can’t help but yearn to speak in the language of your Father now.

-Ann Voskamp

Hope that does not disappoint

Tomorrow is the last day of school for our Malya Hope (for the term).  Its also my last CRE class and it is the day before Good Friday when everyone heads off for a long weekend, lots of chocolate, hot cross buns and usually family time.  

When I was pregnant with Malya (pronounced May-ah, silent 'l') I was extremely unwell and spent a good deal of the nine months in bed or in a wheelchair. It was, at times a dark time for me. It ended in such joy of course when our darling was born, but it was really tough even for months after the birth.  The entire time I held solely on to the hope I have in my Saviour, the hope I have for now and for ever and I had a constant feeling of joy amidst my suffering because of it. So Hope is her middle name and hope continues to fuel my faith and my life as she is about to turn 8!

According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,  to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, 1 Peter 1:3

Tomorrow I'l recap the historical story of Jesus, the Creator, suffering and dying on a cross 2000 odd year ago and being raised to life for the grade 3's at Malya's school. I'll have 30 minutes to share the reason we have an Easter holiday with each class which for most of them will be the only mention of Jesus in their lives until the next RE class.  I realise this is a huge privilege and that many do not agree with CRE in schools and the weight of this responsibility feels heavy at times. My greatest responsibility is to God, to show up and to teach well and to share the hope found only in Him.  But I also have a responsibility to the school and the parents to be respectful of the differing backgrounds of each student. Of course I make it fun and simplify the concepts of Sin and Propitiation and Forgiveness to help the eager listeners understand. And there just might be some eggs hidden in my bag for the end of class for all of them (including the small handful who don't take part in CRE).

In our family we spend Easter focusing more than usual on the saving grace of Jesus and in the hope that does not disappoint. We eat hot cross buns on Friday and lots of chocolate on Sunday and we spend time together and laugh a lot. We go to church at least once, not because we have to or to feel better about ourselves, but to gather together with our extended family, our friends and likeminded believers to give thanks and give our hearts to Him who is and was and is to come.  He who loved us as imperfect and helpless as we are enough to take all of it and die miserably so that we can live!

This is a great article to read on the history of Easter bunnies (what have they got to do with Jesus?)

A friend wrote  this on her facebook page an hour ago and I 'LIKE' it very much -

'Here's the thing: it's nearly Easter, and the story is not about a bunny. Today I read the following quote, and am compelled to share it. As is the chronic shortcoming of text, my tone here is not apparent, so let me tell you before you read it, it is earnest desperate beseeching longing imploring with heart brimful with love:

"If Jesus is Lord of the universe, and his resurrection proves that he is, and he is not Lord of your life, who do you think will win in the end?"

-Unknown'

xoxo

Recovering from all the ‘getting’

Our seven year old daughter is tired. She is still getting over a big fourth term of grade 2, an ear infection and the excitement of Christmas.  So I’ve been gracious with her moods and lack luster attitude. I’ve been somewhat patient with her competitiveness with her sister and unwillingness to be kind for kind’s sake. And we have been waiting patiently for both girls to settle into the holiday routine and be friends again.  

But enough is enough.

We have four weeks of school holidays to go and with the magic of Christmas behind us, the wonderful distraction of Jesus’ birthday month all but forgotten for another year, I’m sensing the need for a new focus.

So while we continue to move from place to place for another month or so we are going to spend each day being grateful.

All four of us will write down on a piece of paper something we are thankful for each evening and put the folded strips into our ‘Grateful Jar’. Each morning we’ll have turns at reaching in for a piece to leave on the bench so we can all aim to be thankful for that one thing for the day.  At some point during the day we’ll read a verse or passage from the bible that will help us along the journey and ultimately to remind us where to direct our gratitude because..

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

James 1:17

I’m hoping that by changing the focus from what they got or what they might still get these holidays to what they already have, they might be far more content.

There are loads of beautiful quotes out there to encourage us all to give thanks. But I feel that only the bible can teach true gratitude.  What I mean is that if my family were taken from me, my home, car and possessions stripped away and I had no friends left in the world and NOTHING to be thankful for on earth (not even a bent crochet hook or a pretty tree to look at), I would still be grateful, despite being miserable.  Only because of Jesus, my only eternal gift.

It is actually pretty easy to be grateful for family and things and beauty. I hope our family can learn to live more gratefully. I hope our jar can be filled to the brim by the time school starts again.

When we were children we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas time. Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?  

 -G.K Chesterton

xoxo

'Start each day with a grateful heart' - [source]

Anticipation

Our girls have been bouncing out of bed each day to open the Advent envelope for the day. They are excited to see what treat or idea Mummy has popped in there (the night before as I am not an organised person!), and in each they expect the next chapter of their story bible to be read or to read to each other.

 December 8. {I folded 24 little envelopes from vintage Little Golden Book scraps and pegged them to twine strung up with washi tape}

They go to sleep excited and wake with anticipation.  Their precious minds hope for a sugary treat or a small gift to bring joy that lasts a whole morning.  Each story they read from the Jesus Storybook Bible points to the coming of the King.  Each chapter anticipates the arrival of a small baby who is unfathomably more amazing than Santa or toys. So as we read through this book within the month of December, leading up to the 25th we count down and build excitement and anticipation of the deep deep beauty and joy of Christmas.  And as the girls receive small treats along the way, their anticipation builds for a day of bigger treats!

I used this simple Jesus Storybook Bible Advent Calendar to cut into strips and pop in each envelope.

Recently I found this advent reading list on Pinterest and was drawn to it because in the silliness of the season, the stress and child-centeredness of it all I forget to stop and revel in the Joy and truly feel the peace and meaning of the arrival of the only perfect Rescuer.

I've been meditating on Isaiah 11, trying to memorise it because its so beautiful.

I love being reminded of some of the OT passages where the birth of Jesus is predicted so accurately. It really helps me read the narrative of His birth in the gospels with fresh eyes.

And this particular passage from Isaiah is so full of hope!

Verse 10 - 'In that day the root of Jesse, who shall stand as a signal for the peoples- of him shall the nations inquire, and his resting place shall be glorious.'

We all anticipate things we can plan and touch and see. But for me, if I haven't collapsed from exhaustion beforehand, I do afterwards and I am all too aware with my limitations that the gifts and food and fun don't last and I'll get things wrong and my health will fail along the way.  But anticipating something so much bigger, more spectacular, something lasting........ Its sort of easier I think.

xoxo