The language of Heaven

All my brokenness is a whisper that I don’t belong, and every time I don’t feel like I belong, the Scarred and Rejected God whispers, “Come here, my beloved.”

-Ann Voskamp

And suddenly its June again. Its raining. And its cold. But I can hear this magical sound, and I'm inspired again.

The past few months of illness and family and Church and work, play and sun have unravelled messily behind us, distant and blurry because of the pace we move at. Winter has settled down to stay here, down near the bottom of mainland Australia. We can light fires and drink more tea, make things with yarn and snuggle. But its still a challenge.

My beautiful friend Dee has pointed me to a place of joy lately and while I'm sure I'm probably the last one to find it, it is most definitely the right time for me to have 'a holy experience' on this crazy world of online distractions. My Maisy and I lay and listened to the beautiful music of David Nevue and both fell in love with the sound. An hour before I'd been touched by Ann's words and her little corner of joy and grace, her focus on Jesus.

{from this post}

So we bought the album, and I signed up to read when I can, it brings me back to a place where can drink in the beauty in my day and in the very place I am at, weary and clinging on, often hanging out for sleep time, and really truly it opens my heart to see some of the beauty of Jesus.

Lately my brief daily snippets of Spurgeon wisdom have nudged me, and the women who I meet in our community group have reminded me, and the Spirit is so gentle but persistent when He tells me that I must make time to be with God, to hear each day of grace that rescues a heart like mine and love that waits and stays and reaches out.

Its amazing how small life can get when we are missing that external thing that is bigger and greater than us. That thing that takes our eyes off ourselves and our family and our own pleasures or distractions. The seasons around us change gradually but yet so quickly and when the summer nights are steamy and blanket-less we can't imagine ever needing socks or electric blankets. I cannot imagine here in my warm bed in the middle of June, the feeling of a starved belly or no place to rest. I'm distracted by the list of things that need doing in my big house, the washing and the cooking, the endless cleaning and improving. Simple gratitude is crowded out by our need to do and to consume. We are small and our lives are so completely fragile in the eyes of a Creator who sees all. And when we are always looking down, the parameters of our hearts close in a little tighter and we miss joy and real beauty, and yes even as believers we miss the glory and grace of Jesus.

I am grateful that despite my semi-blindness I still see bits of beauty in my day, that I feel joy when a friend speaks of the smallest of gifts from above that are actually giant when seen through uplifted eyes. After a long, sick, low, frustrated day I might just want to curl up and wait for sleep time and the hope of new mercies tomorrow but tonight my family spur one another on amidst grumbles and bouts of frustrations at lost shoes and scratchy scarves to walk the dog in the dark under the fresh night sky. And the ten minutes of breathing and literally looking up together makes the day's disappointments fall away. He is in control. And I'm not meant to understand it.

So what pulls on my very being and what I seek to do often is to be quiet and still. Because my real home is waiting for me in Heaven, and my body tells me daily that I don't belong here, most especially in winter, I have to keep on learning to speak the language of Heaven.

xoxo

When heaven is really your motherland, then prayer is really your mother tongue, and you can’t help but yearn to speak in the language of your Father now.

-Ann Voskamp

Hope that does not disappoint

Tomorrow is the last day of school for our Malya Hope (for the term).  Its also my last CRE class and it is the day before Good Friday when everyone heads off for a long weekend, lots of chocolate, hot cross buns and usually family time.  

When I was pregnant with Malya (pronounced May-ah, silent 'l') I was extremely unwell and spent a good deal of the nine months in bed or in a wheelchair. It was, at times a dark time for me. It ended in such joy of course when our darling was born, but it was really tough even for months after the birth.  The entire time I held solely on to the hope I have in my Saviour, the hope I have for now and for ever and I had a constant feeling of joy amidst my suffering because of it. So Hope is her middle name and hope continues to fuel my faith and my life as she is about to turn 8!

According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,  to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, 1 Peter 1:3

Tomorrow I'l recap the historical story of Jesus, the Creator, suffering and dying on a cross 2000 odd year ago and being raised to life for the grade 3's at Malya's school. I'll have 30 minutes to share the reason we have an Easter holiday with each class which for most of them will be the only mention of Jesus in their lives until the next RE class.  I realise this is a huge privilege and that many do not agree with CRE in schools and the weight of this responsibility feels heavy at times. My greatest responsibility is to God, to show up and to teach well and to share the hope found only in Him.  But I also have a responsibility to the school and the parents to be respectful of the differing backgrounds of each student. Of course I make it fun and simplify the concepts of Sin and Propitiation and Forgiveness to help the eager listeners understand. And there just might be some eggs hidden in my bag for the end of class for all of them (including the small handful who don't take part in CRE).

In our family we spend Easter focusing more than usual on the saving grace of Jesus and in the hope that does not disappoint. We eat hot cross buns on Friday and lots of chocolate on Sunday and we spend time together and laugh a lot. We go to church at least once, not because we have to or to feel better about ourselves, but to gather together with our extended family, our friends and likeminded believers to give thanks and give our hearts to Him who is and was and is to come.  He who loved us as imperfect and helpless as we are enough to take all of it and die miserably so that we can live!

This is a great article to read on the history of Easter bunnies (what have they got to do with Jesus?)

A friend wrote  this on her facebook page an hour ago and I 'LIKE' it very much -

'Here's the thing: it's nearly Easter, and the story is not about a bunny. Today I read the following quote, and am compelled to share it. As is the chronic shortcoming of text, my tone here is not apparent, so let me tell you before you read it, it is earnest desperate beseeching longing imploring with heart brimful with love:

"If Jesus is Lord of the universe, and his resurrection proves that he is, and he is not Lord of your life, who do you think will win in the end?"

-Unknown'

xoxo

Tea with me {and cake too}

If you were to tea with me this week you'd most definitely have to come in the morning.  Our cooling system is yet to be reset and this never-ending heat wave reaches its daily climax by 12pm. You'd find me hot and a little bothered but  bright and cheery enough and dying to sit for a cuppa and a chat with you.

As you walk through from the front door you'll be delighted with the bright and airy space beyond the wide panelled hallway. You might perch on a bar stool while I fluff about in the kitchen and you'll look around you at how open and spacious it is in our new living space. You'll see a few boxes, some half finished projects and bare walls and spaces but you'll like what you see (I hope).

I'd make a pot of tea for us both and we'd sip icey cold water while we wait for it to brew. And of course you'd HAVE to try my earl grey tea cake. Its almost finished and I'll have to fight the urge to bake the same cake so I can try something new for this weeks cake-a-week.

I'm wondering how you are managing in this heat. With school and kindy runs and daily errands and no relief in sight it can be so exhausting. Are you coping ok?

We have just had two gorgeous days at the beach.  We pretended we were away camping (it was too hot to actually camp we decided) and we skipped church and other weekend commitments, packed the esky and hit the waves, just the four of us. It was truly the first time spent together in months and it felt so good. A weight has shifted from my shoulders and I feel like I have my husband and life partner back. He's been so busy renovating our house for so long now. Its not finished yet, but he needs a break and he needs to be with his kids and they with him.  

So I'll tell you how grateful I feel right now. Filled to the brim with gratitude. And relief too. I feel more rested and more inspired.  I might tell you though, how I've felt so spiritually dry for the last few months. I might even ask you to pray for me.  With all the busyness of moving in and out of different places, christmas and the new year starting I've let distractions settle in, I formed unhelpful habits, things like watching (more) catch-up TV which I began using to help survive the stress and loneliness without Blake around.  I've let mindless distractions crowd out my most important relationship.

And now I can't just pop it on my to-do list along with all the housey jobs.

        To do:

        -paint stools

        -make curtains for cubby

        -catch up with God and work harder at being His friend.....

Nope. Thankfully I don't have to try harder or even try to find Him and hope He's still my friend. I simply have to fall into His arms and rest in Him. Then ask Him to help me depend more on Him.

But I do have to set aside time and make time spent reading His word and prayer a priority. Not for His approval but for my own survival and my own joy and to honour Him.

I'd want to know how you find time for Him. Do you remember to pray continually?  Or if you don't believe like I do, from where do you draw strength? Whom do you lean on and where do you find your hope? I'm interested, and I'd love to know.

Thankyou for coming. You've inspired and encouraged me as always. I can't wait for our next heart-to-heart.

I'm linking up with the gorgeous Em at Teacups too for this fortnightly post.

xoxo